Eliot is right, at the end I’d still arrive where I started. We don’t know what my life would be like now if I had taken the bottle-feeding road. Light can be found on all the roads we take. If I had taken the bottle-feeding road, that would have made all the difference, too. But Frost didn’t say it was a positive difference, he just said it made the difference. Many of my roads have been the ones “less traveled by” and for me “that has made all the difference.” I consider them positive differences. I love what I do and what began as the breastfeeding road has really turned into a pilgrimage for me, a part of my spiritual journey, and I’m very grateful.Īnother message sent from the “The Road Not Taken” comes from the last two lines: “I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.” It is also not to say that we wouldn’t have all been happy where the bottle-feeding road would have taken us.)Īll of this has been a part of the foundation that drew me to spiritual direction, celebrancy and end-of-life doula work. (This is not to say that if you breastfeed, you will encounter these same things. My family and I will tell you we’re happy with where that road took all of us. I’ve encouraged our children to do the same. I learned to trust my body and my intuition again. The breastfeeding road led to so many things - I became a La Leche League Leader and supported other women with their breastfeeding we practiced what at the time was called attachment parenting, co-sleeping, baby-wearing and extended nursing and we homeschooled. I knew which road to take, and I took it. There was a little message of light - maybe I could trust my body to do this. She told me I was breastfeeding the right way and, in fact, doing a great job at it. Thankfully for me, my husband, our daughter and our not-yet-born son, the nurse encouraged me. At the time, like Frost, the breastfeeding and bottle-feeding “roads” didn’t feel that different to me. I asked her whether I was breastfeeding the right way or if I should switch to bottle-feeding. A thoughtful nurse entered the room and offered her assistance. What happened next changed the course of my life. I thought: Maybe I just wasn’t meant to get pregnant, give birth and feed my baby without human intervention. With my continued lack of faith in my body, I contemplated stopping and bottle-feeding instead. I didn’t know if I was doing it “right” or if Miss J was getting the nourishment she needed. After all of that, I had little faith in my body’s ability to do what I hoped it naturally should.Īs I sat in the hospital bed wearing an eye patch to protect my paralyzed eyelid, I tried to breastfeed Miss J and like many new mothers, I felt clueless. Miss J came into this world through vacuum extraction. Late in the pregnancy a sudden paralysis hit one side of my face, which necessitated induced labor. During the pregnancy with Miss J, I had pre-eclampsia. Her birth followed years of fertility issues including six pregnancy losses, seven abdominal surgeries, many related medical procedures and in vitro fertilization with its accompanying hormones and shots. I was sitting on my hospital bed soon after giving birth to our first child, Miss J. ![]() One choice I made mattered significantly in my life even though I didn’t know it at the time. This sends the message that our choices do matter. In this case, the two roads are similar, but Frost recognizes that by taking one, he may never get the opportunity to take the other. Some are monumental choices and others are small. ![]() ![]() We are all confronted with daily choices, and these choices bring us to where we are today. This person is confronted with a choice between two roads. The poem begins with a person walking in the woods - one of my favorite things to do. Because of these memorializing experiences, I’ve spent more time pondering the poem’s application in my own life. Reading this poem as a part of a person’s “soul sketch” - stories that speak to who they were and how they lived their life - makes its meaning palpable. Several times those words have been Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken.” When I have the privilege of officiating at funerals and memorial services, I am honored when I get to share some of the deceased’s own words – or words that were special to them.
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